Just then I heard another voice. It came from a nearby glade, though I could not see where the voice was coming from. It was faint, soft, and out of breath, but with a sound of depth and resilience as that of a warrior returning from battle. He was straining to speak.
“It was only a peek at first,” the man said, “and I have grown to love it so. But now it hurts so badly I can hardly stand it.”
“You can never carry those things to the mountains,” said deep voice just out of view from where I stood. The voice coming out of the trees had life spilling out of it with a strange tone of power and authority. “You’ll never grow real enough.”
“I knew I could control it. And I did, too. I was able to lift it for quite a while. I was strong.”
“You must leave it behind. It must be destroyed entirely. Can I kill it?”
“I believe I can control it, though.”
“No. You can’t. It’s controlling you.”
I knew there was something there I could not see, so I moved in for a closer view. I found a tree and stood behind it with just enough lean to see around. As I peered through the adjacent glade I saw the ghost. He was walking with a sort of limp and as I looked closer I saw that there was a sort of creaturesque figure attached to its leg, though at first I was unable to make out exactly what the figure was. What I could see was that the creature had no face and yet even without the face you could tell that it had maintained a sort of mischievous grin.
“It’s not as though I wanted it!” the ghost screamed with struggle in his voice as he attempted to break free of the dark beast.
“Nobody wants lust,” said the other voice. “It wants you.”
And just then the solid person came into view, his brightness coming through the branches of the trees in just such a way that small beams of light shone through in colors of all sorts. He was moving in an unexpected swagger as if he were in no hurry and had not yet arrived at a higher sense of urgency or intensity. His posture was calm, subdued, controlled. Yet his movement and posture was only unexpected as a result of the expression on his face which, though it was overflowing with an inexplicable joy, had the look of a confident warrior not returning from but engaged in battle.
“Can I kill it?” the solid person said as the glory dripped from his brow.
“I’m not sure. Will it hurt?”
“Yes.”
“Can you not do it without the pain?”
The solid person, with a surprised look on his face, let out a sort of giggle, and though it was a soft and shy laughter it shook the trees and a wind blew through that began a breeze that did not leave. “Oh! You don’t know?” Then a sudden seriousness came over him and the wind stopped abruptly. “It would not be called love if there was no pain. Besides, it’s what comes after the pain that makes it love. Come and I’ll show you, but first I must kill it.”
Just then the ghost winced in pain, bowing over as if sick and then letting out a cry for help. His face showed complete distress and he let out hunched over with his face to the sky with all his might, but the cry was weak and hardly audible. “Please,” exclaimed the ghost, “I can’t take it any longer.” Those last words came out with a quiet whimper.
Without warning it looked as if the solid person was going to attack the ghost. Its eyes began to burn with flames of blue and white and its muscular body swelled as it approached an attack stance like that of a lion hunting its prey. It leaped forward with a dive wearing a face of both fierceness and magnificent glory and as soon as it engaged with the figure the creature was effortlessly torn from the ghost’s leg and the two monstrosities barrel-rolled so quickly through the wooded area that I wondered what might come of the ensuing battle. The two escaped my view and I would have followed had I not been so overtaken with fear and awe. It was no matter, though, because before I was able to compose myself the solid person had returned. By the look on his face and the perfection of his body you would never have known he had been in a fight.
When I looked over to the ghost I realized he was sad. He seemed to have taken the event unfavorably, his face covered in tears. I became uncontrollably moved with sympathy and suddenly realized that it was not out of sadness but complete hope that tears rolled from his cheeks. His body had become like that of the solid person by now, and his tears fell with such color and beauty that they sang as they fell. Yet it was not to the solid person that it looked as it cried, but elsewhere.
Suddenly and without warning my hair stood on end as I realized that I had not been alone in the glade. I turned to my right and it became apparent that what stood before me had been there all along. As my eyes came into focus or my mind became more aware (looking back I cannot tell which) I saw a being that looked like a solid person but with even more magnificence, even more than can be described. It did not stand there, but did not struggle in any way to keep balance either, as it was seemingly weightless. Its brightness was so great that it would have been blinding to any regular ghost, and I would imagine that any ghost that looked upon its face would have been destroyed instantly.
As things became more and more visible before my eyes I saw that there were solid people all around that had been there even before I could see. They were all bowing to the formless form and sang with shouts a human could never compose or perform. Even the plants and animals showed Him glory. Even the grass stood in praise before the unexplainable. It could not be described for it was neither human nor spirit and yet was human and was spirit. It had no physical qualities to be seen for it was beyond physical. It simply was.
A hush came over the glade as the greatness rose in majestic magnificence to speak. Then, with such soothing softness, He whispered one word to the solid person: “Welcome.”
The word emitted brought such glory that I was overwhelmed with emotion and began to weep at its beauty. Then something happened. It came unexpected. An unanticipated awareness came over me and I saw that the time had come. He was looking somewhere else.
He was looking at me.